So I always study hard when I know a big exam is coming up. I mean, nearly obsessively like. I'll admit that for my western civilization test I could have studied some aspects a bit more thoroughly, but still I had anticipated a grade of B on the mid-term. You know, nothing to hopeful yet still a good grade.
I even anticipated getting my test back today, all ready to see the familiar and loved 'B' on the inside cover of my booklet. Yet instead I see various red correction marks and a 'C'.
WHAT. THE. SHEESH.
Initially tears began to come - I mean, how could I not feel insanely stupid that, after studying hard, I get the most average idiotic grade? How could I not feel like such a failure and like such a moron?
Got out of class, sullen as hell, and talked to Stefan about it. I guess now, around an hour later, I am less angry and less hard on myself. I mean, as we discussed, there were many others who got my grade and even more who got lower marks.
So I guess all I can do is hope to do better on the final, and study even harder, giving myself the practice tests I should've done this time. But then there is the stressful matter of my other 2 midterms this week.
Math and Sign Language. The ASL should be easy, but still stresses me out nonetheless. I can't help but worry that, with high-ish expectations, I will screw myself over on that one as well. And the math. . .well I have allowed myself the leniance of getting a C in that class if need be. But still. . .I want to do better than that and the whole time I'll still be hoping for a B or higher.
And next week we have Sociology of the third world. Which we still don't have a study guide for yet. Ugh, at least in some of these classes there are essays and papers and presentations to help make up for poor test grades, but needless to say, this semester needs to end like now.
To say I am stressed out would be an understatement. I can honestly say that if I stop to really think about this work and tests ahead of me, I'll cry. A lot. But like I said before, I can't go through the rest of the semester like that and I know I should try to cope better. But you know, it's so hard when you know that if you stop for just one second - the work will pile up too high to climb.
Two points. One, if your current biggest problem in life is getting a C instead of a B thank God that life is so good. And ask yourself if in 5 years from now you will care one iota about a C instead of a B and see what conclusion you come to.
ReplyDeleteaw thank to jerry. because you are right. Stefan said something similar. I was like "welll its not the end of the world..." and hes like "exactly. if it was youd have bigger worries than this test."
ReplyDeletelol but really I appreciate it. I guess I'm just so sensitive sometimes that I take stuff like this really hard and let it get to me. But youre right. 5 years from now I'll have a full time job and a degree and it wont matter how I got there.